“On my way to who knows”

Today I spent about one hour, outside on the deck, sun is out plus it’s got to be 90 degrees, sweating like a pig, with my case worker from the Area Agency on aging. I just might get something that the VA can’t do!  Now that is the help I want.. I do think that I deserve this 110%. This is a “GIFT” and that’s my story and I’m sticking with it. Still looking for my live birth certificate though but I know I have it. Need to get my last four bank statements. Then contact the VA in Cleveland, OH to get my proof of my pension. Then I may have all my shit in one folder. Now, today’s date is the 6th of September 2016. Time to say good night to all of my friends, but more to come tomorrow. Sleep tight@@@@

Alright, I’m back after a rather hectic day. I meet again with the case manager and gave her all four bank statements that she requested and “TADA” my original Birth Certificate. Now I got to pat myself on the back, amen. In only two visits I feel all this weight is findlay off my back. I went out soon later and got a much needed haircut. I can’t stand long hair these days, no particular reason except when riding in the car, all of it gets in my eyes and that bugs the shit out of me. Just can’t believe my wait for help has come to a head. I can only give praise to GOD because he knew that I needed and deserved all that I do have. 

Of course now if I could only just put the plug into the jug. Man I want to and need to, so why don’t I just give in? Because it’s in my freakin brain and it is here to stay unless I put my foot down. Could pay for rehab but I don’t make enough money. The program I’m signed up for with Area Agency should come with Medicaid so maybe it”s covered. It would behove me to ask that question to my case worker September 10,2016. Wish me luck because if I don’t, I will die without help.

Another thing I got advice on by my caseworker was to go to the Vet Center to see if they could get my proof of income. Made me an appointment  and the financial officer not only got one but also faxed it to my caseworker. I’m all finished… Later people, more to come.   

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“Day In, Day Out, One Day At A Time”

Mark here with certainty that I have and will never ever quit. Looking at all the comments say good things about me and my addition to the devils grave yard,  that had to do a lot of my downfall. God didn’t ever made me to just be a drunk. That is why I decided for myself to have as much fun as I could have while working 3 jobs at one time daily. One full time job plus three side jobs  to make me a great provider for my wife and our two children. Worked it until the alcohol started increasing weekly. All I ended up with was a divorce and no kids but rather $70 a week child support. That is all behind me now but my liver took the brunt of my life. Some 63 years of drinking has me under the ole boulder. Life now is one day at a time. I’m currently drinking again after 9+ years to jump off the wagon is simply put me to where I am now and that sucks.

Today is September the 5th @ 7:20 am I have to listen to my own advice I had typed earlier in 2016. My straight up truth and I am having one hell of a time trying to stop is ROCK HARD. Still not being able to drive because I went a shoe show when my last DUI and it got my license away. My eyes are even going south and that all sucks all big time. I keep telling myself, I can quit bad habits. Some day I will see the light when I’m dead and buried. That is what I’m not ready for sure but rather it’s inevitable.  No body lives forever and I do understand this fact

I have contemplated recently about just starting this story over but as I mentioned, I won’t quit at anything I might be doing and planning to do in my days on the planet of ours that God crated for us to live in. I’m a lover not a fighter. I want to help people but right now I must work on me and this is a MUST.

What have I been doing with myself you might be asking? It’s been a month of disasters. Drinking was the real problem and took me to the emergency room like 5 times, called the paramedics 3 times to come and get me off the floor and once for falling in the bathtub. Being in my drunkenness condition it is rather embarrassing. I’d say that I have had a major problem with a gait problem, my arms are covered with open sores. Already have regular problems, I have a wheelchair, a cane and two different walkers. But add alcohol only makes my standing straight ever worse. I am not sure what made me pick up once more, my mother dieing or was it me giving up on myself. For sure it’s out there somewhere, anywhere or just wanting to die myself. I used to be the king of downing beers but now it only takes four and I’m falling somewhere or the other. These open sores, like skinning the skin off my body, it freaking hurts. I am an alcoholic and it’s got me now but not for much longer cause I will get help somewhere.

I can’t get the help I need at the VA so I have arranged the counties area agency on aging. I do qualify for numerous programs they offer. All I have to basically do is to prove that I am me, Mark E, as with a lot of looking for the information that I had in my personal info. In six hours I have to only do 2 things and I’ll be rescued. It is up to me if I get accepted or not. It’s going the positive way and I have to stick with the programs.

Ida and I want a new car and we will one day. We have a 1986 Buick Sumerset    that cost us around at least $300 any time we need something that’s broke to just a tire alignment plus changing the oil. This total could be used as a car payment so Why not be worry free. Only I need also to get my license again that was taken away some 13 or 14 years ago by the good guys of Cobb Counties Finest in Georgia. I wasn’t aware that after 45 day’s in the clink (jail) that I had a probation officer. That is why I paid a lawyer to keep me apprised of. Not only did I have to report in but court cost were never explained to me. Found this out when I went to get a Ohio drivers license that brought up a freaking flag. State ID was all I could get until the State of Georgia is over with, period!!!